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Marriage déjà vu

Yesterday morning the California Supreme Court heard oral arguments in the case challenging Prop 8, the voter initiative that amended the constitution to eliminate same-sex marriage rights in the state. Thom and I went to Civic Center in San Francisco to watch the hearing on a giant screen arranged by the marriage-equality organizations. (We ran into Julie there; here’s her pic of us and her whole set.) I didn’t feel like the hearing shed much new light on the case, since most of the arguments were ones we’ve heard before, but it was good to get a feel, slight though it was, for the justices’ thinking by way of their questions.

Gathered outside there were a lot of people on both sides of the debate, and though both crowds got loud especially after the hearing concluded and the attorneys emerged from the court building to make public remarks, the event was more or less peaceful.

Prop 8 hearing

Just last year at around this time, on March 4, 2008, I remember watching the webcast of the case that eventually led to the recognition of same-sex marriage rights a few months later. I’m trying to remain optimistic. This time around I guess I’m hoping for the best and preparing for the worst, or rather, something in the middle. The buzz I’ve been reading is that the court may uphold Prop 8 as a legal amendment to the state constitution, but also uphold (rightfully so, I believe) the validity of the same-sex marriages entered into between June and November 2008.

The court must give its decision within ninety days. Whichever way it goes, we have to keep fighting for our rights.

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Valentine’s Day weekend

If you followed my Twitter or Facebook status a couple weeks ago, you know this news: Thom and I are engaged. We’ve talked about this amongst ourselves for a while, so it was kind of planned — no one surprised anyone with a ring in the champagne or got down on one knee — but still special and romantic. We plan to have a wedding in the Bay Area sometime this fall. Although we are already registered domestic partners, there is nothing like a ceremony with our friends and family present. We’ll have it regardless of the outcome of the Prop 8 court challenge, and if the ban is overturned, which we hope will be the case, then we’ll get legally married!

Our Valentine’s Day weekend was spent on a little road trip down the Central Coast. On Saturday we went to Hearst Castle in San Simeon, about a four-hour drive from here in Daly City. That night we had dinner in Carmel at Citronelle, where we popped the question. (We said yes!) We stayed the night at the Hyatt Regency Monterey and the next day visited the Monterey Bay Aquarium. It was a lovely getaway (though the drive back on Sunday was stormy and harrowing).

My photos from Hearst Castle are up on Flickr, and soon I’ll add the aquarium photos to the set.

Hearst Castle - Neptune Pool

And so the wedding planning begins!

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Duncan at the Palace of Fine Arts

Duncan Sheik‘s concert at the Palace of Fine Arts last Saturday was awesome. We had perfect seats in the front row, center, so it was like he was singing just for us. His band opened, including Lauren Pritchard (the original Ilse in Spring Awakening), Holly Brook, Louis Schwadron, and Ben Kalb. Duncan’s set consisted mostly of songs from Spring Awakening and his new show, Whisper House, and also included songs from Daylight (“For You,” “Such Reveries,” “On a High”) and one of the old favorites, “She Runs Away.”

The songs from Daylight really take me back to when I used to live in Washington, D.C. I bought that CD soon after it came out in 2002. I still had an old discman (remember those?) and would keep any given CD in there forever and play it over and over again on my work commute. I listened to Duncan a lot then. We last saw him in concert in Virginia at the Birchmere in 2005.

I didn’t take any pictures from last Saturday’s concert, but here’s a set I found on Flickr, which may in fact be from the folks sitting next to us at the show.

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Honest men, continued

While the memory is still fresh in my mind, I just wanted to flashback to several days ago, when Thom and I registered our domestic partnership.

Although domestic partnerships in California can be filed through the mail, we wanted to make it as special an occasion as possible, so we filed in person at the San Francisco regional office of the California secretary of state. It’s a nondescript office on the fourteenth floor of the state building, and it seemed everyone else there was taking care of more business-related tasks: certifying documents, registering a corporation, etc.

Our number was called, and the person at the window was so gracious and almost happy to see us when we told her we wanted to become domestic partners. (I later asked her name: Elsa.) After taking our fee and forms, she got up and said, “I’ll go enter your information. I’ll be back, and between now and then…”

I thought she was going to say, “You’ll officially be partners.” But she said, “You’ll have one more chance to decide if you want to do this, before I transmit your information to Sacramento.”

Thom wondered if people really back out at this point, and she said, “You’d be surprised.” Ha.

She came back. “Well?”

I don’t remember exactly what we said, but we were sure. We were ready.

She left again and returned several minutes later, this time coming out into the lobby where we were sitting. She put her hands on our shoulders, congratulated us, and gave us a letter and our certificate of domestic partnership. This was really happening. I was so happy.

Thom and I left the office, and hugged and kissed in the hallway. We took a photo of ourselves with our certificate and then left the building.

It was Friday, the 13th. And it had started to rain. Still, we’ve always said we’re both pretty lucky.

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Honest men

Big news: Thom and I got hitched! Basically. We registered as domestic partners, which means we now have most of the same rights as spouses in the state of California. We’ve been meaning to do this for a long while and finally decided to do it today, as close to Valentine’s Day as possible, which actually meant Friday the 13th. (Obviously we’re not superstitious.)

We went to the San Francisco office of the California Secretary of State to register in person, and here we are, all newly domestic-partnered:

Just partnered

Afterward we had a Coraline evening: we went to the Cartoon Art Museum to see an exhibit of Coraline art, and then to the Metreon to see Coraline in 3D. I loved it.

Our Valentine’s Day weekend continues with a little road trip. Tomorrow we drive down to San Simeon to visit Hearst Castle, then up the coast a bit from there to have dinner in Carmel. We’ll overnight in Monterey, then on Sunday visit the Monterey Bay Aquarium.

Love is in the air!

[See also: “Honest men, continued.”]

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Chick-flick clichés

OK, I just might end up seeing that movie He’s Just Not That Into You when it comes out … only if they do in fact avoid these chick-flick clichés:

Hmm, somehow I don’t mind the clichés when Kevin Connolly, Justin Long, and Bradley Cooper do them. Go figure. They can be very convincing. (Hat tip to AfterElton.)

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Hillwood Museum and Gardens

Neat, a photo of mine is being used on a new city guide website called DestinationGuide. It’s on their page for the Hillwood Museum and Gardens in Washington, D.C. Hillwood, the former estate of Post cereal heiress Marjorie Merriweather Post, is a great place to check out and spend an afternoon if you’re in the area; they even have a Gay Day every summer. By the way, the other day I came across a New York Times article about Washington estate museums, and at the “top of the heap” is Hillwood.

Here’s my photo:

Scrolls

More photos from our visit to Hillwood back in August 2005 are up on Flickr.

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Park Chalet

Last Sunday Thom and I ended up having an impromptu afternoon at a few westside San Francisco spots. We were looking for a place to have brunch, and we decided on the Park Chalet, which is just behind its more visible sibling, the Beach Chalet, on Great Highway. They have a buffet brunch on Sundays; I think my favorite thing was the crème brûlée french toast, yum.

Afterward we went across the street to Ocean Beach and walked around for a bit, then drove up to the Legion of Honor museum, where we happened to arrive just as the weekly organ concert was starting. All great sights, so that means another video! And a few additional photos (map) are up on Flickr.

When I tested the video with my focus group, i.e., Thom, he said the music for the Ocean Beach segment was “very 90210.” Ha!