My dad died on July 6, 2006, one year ago today. What a crazy year it’s been: ups, downs, and everything in between. Even the Fourth of July feels a bit poignant; on July 4 last year, we spent the whole day at the hospital with my dad, and once night fell we could hear fireworks outside.
Over that following week, my mom and I planned almost all the details of the funeral, except the Mass, which the church took care of. They included a couple of Tagalog songs — I guess they knew we are Filipino, like most of their community — and one song in particular that stuck with me is “Hindi Kita Malilimutan,” which basically means “I will not forget you.” Here is a version performed by guitarist Florante Aguilar with singer Lori Abucayan, and lyrics and a translation I found on the web:
Hindi kita malilimutan
(I will never forget you)Hindi kita pababayaan
(I will never abandon you)Nakaukit magpakailanman
Sa ‘king palad ang ‘yong pangalan
(Your name is forever written on the palm of my hand)Malilimutan ba ng ina
Ang anak na galing sa kanya?
(Can a mother forget a child made from her own flesh?)Sanggol sa kanyang sinapupunan
Paano n’yang matatalikdan?
(How can she turn her back on a child nurtured in her womb?)Ngunit kahit na malimutan ng ina
Ang anak n’yang tangan
Hindi kita malilimutan
Kailan ma’y hindi pababayaan
(No mother can forget her child; more so I, who have made you, can never forget or abandon you)
In Filipino tradition, the first anniversary of a death usually calls for a get-together, called the babang luksa, to signify the end of the mourning period (or more literally, the discarding of mourning clothes). We weren’t up to having a big gathering; last night my mom and I went to Mass, and later to a garden store to buy some azaleas that she will plant in honor of Dad. Then Thom met up with us for dinner at a Vietnamese restaurant in South San Francisco.
It’s been hard dealing with the loss, but I’m finding comfort in family and friends and in just going on with life. I figure that’s how he’d want it.
We miss you, Dad. Hindi kita malilimutan.
4 replies on “Hindi kita malilimutan”
This is so touching. I wish I could be there to give you a big hug.
So sweet. Found your blog randomly. Lost my dad July 11, 2000, so this was a nice find for me. I think you’re absolutely right about him wanting you to find comfort as you go on. And thank you for posting such a sweet song.
That’s a wonderful post – and a very sweet photo.
i was very touched what you written here…you really love your dad soo much!